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7th February 2004

ladyofvictory6:05pm: Layman Profile: Sean Astin


If there was a building that stood for good acting, Sean Astin would be the plane that crashed into it.

    Facts:
  • is fat... hee hee hee
  • Big break: The Goonies
  • Star of layman classic Encino Man
  • likes Starbucks, but cannot sing the complete verses of Robbie Williams's Supreme
  • thinks he knows "alot"
  • has appeared on "late nite" television with none other than the infamous Ruben Studdard
  • RUDY!!!!


Please direct all hatemail to this address. Thank you.

love,
celeb
Current Mood: frumptious
adolfa5:27pm: BULLETIN
VERY important update.

we now have coined two new words and phrases:

holidae [G. holidokopolis, S.D. holidae in] n., pl. holidaez 1. An action or group of words that has failed in its attempt to be humorous. 2. A dilapidated and unsanitary hotel. 3. (correctly spelt) Holiday. bonehead's bank holidae A period of vacation time taken by Count von Bonehead in 1796. adj. 1. Uncouth, ungainly and simply unfunny; inspiring no humour despite its intent. holidaes, holidaeing v. 1. To consume, devour or otherwise ingest Robbie Williams.

the word 'holiday' is now obsolete and is to be replaced in all occurances wiv 'holidae'.

WHOOPLA [L. wupimus; Judus Lavus] adj. 1. Obnoxious, yet nonetheless in some way hilarious, entertaining and out of the ordinary. 2. Odd; inducing uproarious laughter. v. 1. To consume, devour or otherwise ingest Robbie Williams.

jude law has also been added to the list of non-laymen. reason: we have named a term after him. everyone give a hearty welcoming WHOOPWHOOPLAwWHOOP to an ex-layman-turned-elite, jude law. welcome to our society, jude. enjoy your stay.

VERY important edit: it has also come to our attention that one of our former elite, Ernest Angley, has been engaging in some extremely laymanesque behaviour. this sort of d'walling will not be tolerated. he has been extracted from the community and is heretofore banished from our society permanently. anyone who sees angley within fifty feet of our high-security gates is instructed to shoot him without warning. WELCOME J00D, GOODBYE ANGLEY

Current Mood: frumptious

19th November 2003

ladyofvictory5:04pm: adolfa has a boyfriend!






WHOOPWHOOPANGLEyWHOOOP
Current Mood: joyous

6th September 2003

adolfa9:06pm: The LiveJournal Shirt
in case anyone is wondering, THIS is a picture of ladyofvictory and adolfa (respectively):




also.

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN. the word "with" is now obsolete. it is now "wiv". anyone found to be using the outdated term "with" will be deemed a layman and blacklisted from the following lj communities: uncommonlylarge.

take for example this layman:

I would like some coffee with my cream.

with? WITH??? good job, putz.
Current Mood: aggravated

15th June 2003

ladyofvictory9:19pm: To the tune of "Me and My Monkey" in c minor
(Robbz is still first person.)
Authors' note- we suggest you look up the real lyrics and hear the real song. It is actually quite a good song, for what it is.

It was me and my Celeb
her with her false teeth and platform heels
reclinin' in the passenger seat of my supercharged jet-black Nazi sidecar
She had the AC on
she liked the wind in her face
She said "Son, you ever been to Rivendell?" I said "No" she said "That's where we're gonna go
You need a change of pace"
And when we hit the Ford
With all the Black Riders and the emeralds
She said "I left my wallet in Lothlorien" and proceeded to take two grand of mine

We made tracks to Rivendell: Place of the Elves
Asked Bragol if she'd take me and my Celeb as well
She looked in the passenger seat of my sidecar, and with a smile, she said:
"If Mommy Celeb's got that kind of money, sir, then we've got a Celeb bed!!!"

Me and my Celeb
with a dream and a gun
Hopin' my Celeb
don't point that gun at anyone
Me and my Celeb
Like Adolf Hitler's kids
Tryin' to understand why he did what he did why he did what he did

Went up the elevator, I hit the thirty-third floor
We had a room up top with a panoramic view,
it was like nothin' you've ever seen before
She went asleep in the oven
and when she awoke
She ran her little Celeb claws through the yellow pages called up escort services and ordered some chicken fingers
Forty minutes later, there came a knock at the door
in walked this big, niceass turd into my bedroom with three chicken fingers
"Howdy-ho, my name is Mr. Hankey; these are my girls- lace my palm with poo, baby, and they'll rock your world"

So I read the message board and polished my
Nails and my gun
Was stickin' on 'Ladriel sing about Celeborn
There came an odor at the door, and in walked Mr. Hankey
"What's up?" "You'd better get yo' ass in here, boy, your Celeb's havin' too much of a good time..."

Me and my Celeb
Drove in search of the fun
Me and my Celeb
Don't point that gun at anyone
Me and my Celeb, like
Adolfa the Kid
Tryin' to understand why she did what she did why she did what she did

Got tickets to see Fred Astaire
Celeb was high
Said it was a burnin' ambition to see him
Before she died
We left before Puttin' on the Ritz
She couldn't sit still
Freddy was a blast, baby
but my Celeb was ill

Went and played stomach chess
Kept hittin' Celeb's ______
Couldn't help but notice LB jus' starin' at me
Or was it my Celeb? I couldn't be sure
'Snot like you've never seen a Celeb in false teeth and platform heels before!
"Now don't test my patience, cause we're not about to run
That's a badass Celeb, boy, and she's packin' a gun!
My name is Rodriguez," she says,
with death in her eye
"I've been chasin' y'all for a long time, comrades, but now ol' Celeb's gonna diiiiiiiie..."

Me and my Celeb
drove in search of the fun
me and my Celeb
we don't want to kill no Lady Bilbo
but we got
ten itchy claws!
One thing to declare-
when Celeby's high, you do not stare
you do not stare!
you do not stare


"'ooks like we got ourselves an LB standoff, here, Celeb, and I ain't about to run! Put your gun down, Celeb!" *laughs insanely*

How did I get mixed up with this fuckin' Celeb anyhow?

THE END!

14th June 2003

ladyofvictory6:25pm: One thing to declare:

Those Gallagher boys, they know how to ROCK.

*chucklesnort*

12th June 2003

adolfa12:25pm: Calm yourselves, l'enfants.
L'enfants, I strongly feel that this is the beginning of a revolution. A frumptious, taco-flavoured, bidet-worthy revolution. Yes, l'enfants, The Ego Has Landed.

Its coming has triggered a great change in our mannerisms. (It's like wiping your arse with silk.) We have now employed the following changes to our Code of Conduct:
  • An enhanced user info page
  • Several new icons, including icklerobbz and the charming Goebbels
  • An Uncommonly Large Quiz
  • New AIM screen names, created to commiserate a violent riot occuring at the Mandalay Bay Hotel. GrimaCrazy is now GRIM         ACRAZY, and snapekin is now SNAP         EKIN.

Please remember, the modern version of Hungary is Hungary.

As ever,

LB

Current Mood: frumptious
ladyofvictory12:23pm: lager!
L'enfants!

I urge you to get down and pray. You'll find me in da tub, bottle full of bubbles (and lager.)

"Lager Bells"
written by Madame le Ego
Lager lager lager
Lager lager lager
Lager lager lager lager lager
Lager lager lager
la-la-la-lager
la-la-la-la-la-la-GER!
Current Mood: accomplished

10th June 2003

ladyofvictory8:46pm: ME AND MY MONKEY!!!

*dances around* I've been chasin' you for a long time, amigos, and now Celeb's gonna die! *is covered in lobsters*

I (heart) Robbz, aka owerjhjwnekrjwner
LB (heart) Rodriguez


'ooks like Celeb has to go.

Words we haven't used yet: pec*cav*i*pec*ca*dil*lo*POTATO

8th June 2003

ladyofvictory7:49pm: grimminsnap
Behold, this lovely poetry:

Honey to the bee
that's you for me
honey to the bee
that's you for me!

I'm thinkin' about your sugar lips
got a feeling for you now that's so strong
I'm dreaming about the candy in your fingertips
Baby, don't stay away from me too long!


Now, friends, that is a great song.
Current Mood: amused

19th May 2003

ladyofvictory8:16pm: LB, you fiend, I am never going to forgive you for this. Actually, we are both fiends, but you receive the added bonus of being a twerp. Twerpy!

On 19 May 2003 adolfa played a screamingly cruel yet screamingly funny prank on poor old hapless ladyofvictory. Never forgive her for this one; I am scarred. For life.

!~*lady robbz*~!
PS: you must include an extremely doofy signature sprinkled with stupid asterisks and such to really add that perfect effect. You infernal prankster; that prank was almost worthy of EDWIN!
Current Mood: infuriated

17th May 2003

adolfa10:40pm: tonight marks a special day for Celebrian and Lady Bilbo: the invention of the word d'wall..

(be sure to read ALL the definitions)

d'wall [L. d'vallius] n. 1. (vulgar slang, contraction) The wall. 2. One of no importance; one possessing plebeian or uncourth qualities; one who is deserving of mocking and reviling. 3. A charming shade of puce. v. 1. To waste time. 2. To act in a plebeian manner. 3. To consume, devour or otherwise ingest Robbie Williams. d'walling, d'walled adj. 1. Of or possessing d'wallish qualities. 2. Glowing a resilient shade of d'wall.

charmin'.
Current Mood: ah'm frumpshus, maw

17th April 2003

adolfa5:53pm: Dear It:

it is with regret that we inform you that you are a weenius maximus. go jump off a toilet.

it seems that us two have been neglecting Ol' Eddie for a while. this will not do. we are uncommonly large. not uncommonlylareg, or uncommonlylager, or uncommonlybum. uncommonlylarge.

public service announcement: please check out these new reality TV shows:

  • The Bum
  • The Bumette
  • Joe Bum
  • Survivor: Bum
  • Bums of Love
  • Bum Island
  • Bum Boat
  • Big Bum
  • Bums in Alaska

And don't forget to listen to U2's new single, A bum! Digging in a slum! Digging with his thumb now, excavation!
ladyofvictory4:44pm: Dear Sir or Madam:

It is with deepest regret we inform you you made an obvious typo in your last post in this esteemed community:

to save from the mental dischord of any viewers that will doubltess ensue

There. My new icon looks so dreadful because it's not centered, but I didn't want it to be centered, so I suppose I shall just use a different pic.

Post puppy post!</a>
Current Mood: irate

7th March 2003

ladyofvictory6:33pm: *finishes eating E.L. Fudge cookies*

Kiss me, I'm Keebler!

LB, what does flaming stupid hp people have to do with O. Sharp or stomach chess? Absolutely nothing. You are a menace, and that is all I have to say. And frumptious is my word *feels snotty*

And until you stop frumptiousing around and watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off, I will continue to act like Ed Rooney, just to piss you off. *insert gibberish French* Le jeux sans fait. Translation: The game is up.

celebykins
adolfa6:25pm: mommy's first plebe. grand.
ah, nicocoer. which of the many ways should we tear her apart with first. a decision of the ages, this one.

perhaps before we get to any actual content of her lj we should probably go over her profile. just to warn you. (and to give us more to make fun of, of course. do you think we actually do anything for the benfit of the public? you are kidding yourselves.) we would lj-cut the rest to save from the mental dischord of any viewers that will doubltess ensue, but celebrian and lady bilbo do not lj-cut.

let us take a moment to do the universal point-and-laugh at her icon, which reads 'Proud to be a Slytherin Slut'.

now.

I also write poetry, and original short stories. have tried writing full langth stories, but failed miserablly.

ha. it seems she has failed 'miserablly' at not only writing full-length novels but also at writing her own lj bio. (and most probably at her poetry and short stories as well.) is proper spelling and grammar really too much to ask from this girl, who claims to be a writer of not only stories but poetry, which is a far more complex science than story- or essay-writing? celebrian and lady bilbo have only one thing to say: mrah.

she goes on to list some of her favourite books as, aside from HP and LotR, 'The Dark is Riseing' and 'The Chronicals of Narnia'. shoot us now.

I Also enjoy Anime.

go figure.

also go figure to the fact that she has such disreputable interests as 'y!m' (we want to gag), 'linkin park' (we really want to gag) and 'pyromania' (we really, really, really want to gag. really.). celebrian would like to add that ms. coer is FAR too plebeian to possibly be interested in gothic cathedrals and needs to remove it from her interests list at once.

it is also no wonder that she has friended cassandra claire.

and now...on to her actual journal. note that we use that term in the loosest way possible.

we love this entry of hers. so hypocritical. it is, of course, about 'the rise and fall of the fandom' and how the fandom has entered its 'dark ages'...christ. friends, romans, countrymen, read on purely at your own risk.

hm.... it seems that the fandom is loosing it's luster. newbies are invading our lives. and oldbies are getting annoyed.

the hypocrisy begins right with the first line. she is not an oldbie. she is a newbie. she is annoying.

but, one must remember, what is Lost can be found. newbies turn to oldbies, and in turn, new newbies will araise. and afer a dark age, a rebirth always comes. It was so with abstract art. Celtic peoples had an emense knollage of it, and practiced it. then, the trends of the times changed over to realism. but yet, a resurgents of Absrtact grew, and it was reborn. the moon goes through a cycle, waxing and waning. a woman's body cycles, ovolation, to a time that fades into menserantion, to a time that fades to ovalation again. the plants wither in the fall, a sad sight. but yet, in the spring, they are reborn!

what. the. fuck.

pretending for just a moment that she has in fact used proper spelling and grammar throughout this passage, it still makes absolutely no sense. comparing the harry potter fandom to a woman's menstrual cycle? this seems a bit pretentious from someone who probably hasn't even started hers yet.

anyhow... I think my intelligence is starting to show. better hide it! *hastily burries inteligence in back yard* maw- haw-haw!

...believe us, your 'intelligence' has no possible chance of showing.

ever.

from another ludicrous and completely un-large section of her journal:
YAY! My Aunt Pam is reading IP. She's now a slasher! w00t!

celebrian and lady bilbo have no words.

she is also a complete celebrian poser. she does not know elvish. nor does she understand anything about the visigoths or the gothic cathedrals. next thing you know she'll be pretending to be interested in perotin or prokofiev or hildegard von bingen.

hmmph.
Current Mood: frumptious!

3rd March 2003

ladyofvictory7:55pm: O. Sharp <3<3 Largeus maximus, you should email him and tell him about his fan club.

You know, LB, I really despise these colors. Use black and darkred and silver. They're more... *insert O. Sharp adjective* fundamental.

candy is dandy
but liquor is quicker


Or, you could Yodafy it and it would be:
dandy is candy
but quicker is liquor.


There. I posted. Now I have to go do my algebra homework so stop frumptiousing me about posting in here. I'm all kinds of busy.

celebyMUNCH
O. Sharp's BIGGEST fan
Current Mood: frumptious

2nd March 2003

adolfa8:17pm: hello.
we are celebrian and lady bilbo. we have come from the lotr fandom to give the other fandoms (and even our own home sweet home. aren't we considerate?) some love and joy. actually, we do not bring 'love and joy' to anything, so if you are here in search of peace and flowers you might as well stop looking. although i'm sure none of you are actually looking for peace and flowers. in any case. we are not keepers of the peace. we are not helpful, constructive or insightful members of the community. we are Weapons Of Mass Desctruction.

unlike certain members of the fandom, we do not hate everyone equally. au contraire. we favour people with a most blatant unfairness. do not worry, it is only hat_of_fat_ty.

if you do not interest us, we probably will ridicule your ludicrous shenannigans to no end. understand that very little interests us except o. sharp and his minions. c'est la vie.

fret not. there is much snarkiness to come.
Current Mood: frumptious
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